I used to have a list of sarcastic car names that I would toss out onto forums here and there, things you would call the car in front of you to make you feel better about whatever you're in.
Ford Must-Hang
Hyundai Accident
Chevy Shove-it
Buick Less-Able
Pontiac GrandDammit
You get the idea.
Well, the Chrysler Laser had two: Chrysler Lazy and Chrysler Loser
Over 20 years ago, I bought one for $100. It had a bad transmission. (It actually had a bad everything, but that's another story.) It was a black 1985 Chrysler Laser XE. I saw the word "turbo" without really knowing anything else about it except that it was supposed to be fast. I had a 1987 Ford Escort with a 4-speed manual transmission and a 1.9 liter engine, and when I started driving the Laser, I didn't find it to be much faster at all. I was used to shifting quickly around 2k RPM and flooring it between gears. Thinking that I was just a sucker, I decided to be scientific about it. I put the Escort into 1st and rolled into the clutch until I was idling in gear. Then I held the pedal down to see how quickly I could get it to red line. Pretty peppy, I thought. Then I got in the Laser and rolled it into gear, and when I romped on the gas and felt a great big nothing for the first bit of takeoff, I was disappointed. Then the turbo kicked in full force, lit up a tire, and didn't stop making smoke until I was screaming down the road at 30 MPH. I was so scared when it happened that I pulled over and stomped on the brake, stalling the car. I got out, sheet white, shaking, thoroughly terrified by the experience.
I had to have more!
---
The story of how this car came to my garage is a strange one as well, with a series of unlikely coincidences, but we've all experienced that sort of thing. What matters now is that it's here, and I want to make it like I remember:
Ford Must-Hang
Hyundai Accident
Chevy Shove-it
Buick Less-Able
Pontiac GrandDammit
You get the idea.
Well, the Chrysler Laser had two: Chrysler Lazy and Chrysler Loser
Over 20 years ago, I bought one for $100. It had a bad transmission. (It actually had a bad everything, but that's another story.) It was a black 1985 Chrysler Laser XE. I saw the word "turbo" without really knowing anything else about it except that it was supposed to be fast. I had a 1987 Ford Escort with a 4-speed manual transmission and a 1.9 liter engine, and when I started driving the Laser, I didn't find it to be much faster at all. I was used to shifting quickly around 2k RPM and flooring it between gears. Thinking that I was just a sucker, I decided to be scientific about it. I put the Escort into 1st and rolled into the clutch until I was idling in gear. Then I held the pedal down to see how quickly I could get it to red line. Pretty peppy, I thought. Then I got in the Laser and rolled it into gear, and when I romped on the gas and felt a great big nothing for the first bit of takeoff, I was disappointed. Then the turbo kicked in full force, lit up a tire, and didn't stop making smoke until I was screaming down the road at 30 MPH. I was so scared when it happened that I pulled over and stomped on the brake, stalling the car. I got out, sheet white, shaking, thoroughly terrified by the experience.
I had to have more!
---
The story of how this car came to my garage is a strange one as well, with a series of unlikely coincidences, but we've all experienced that sort of thing. What matters now is that it's here, and I want to make it like I remember: